New Age Nostalgia - Poem

A Poem by Colette

This is like a conversation between 2 sides of the brain from past and present, can be read from top to bottom or as 2 separate poems--1 left aligned, the other indented.

New Age Nostalgia

He wants to take me to a strip bar

He hasn’t even taken me for coffee

I have been a deliberate coquette since I was 4 years old

I sat next to a neighbor boy at the piano, watching him tap

the ebony and ivory keys

I tackled him, to move in for a kiss that was not received

He doesn’t know how to deliver affection

He doesn’t know how to play...with me

I played cars...with boys

Climbed trees...buildings

I have been a boy girl since I was 5 years old

He wants me to send him raunchy photos

He wants to believe his dick will bring me closer to God

I went to mass with my mother

Loved her more than any Lord that could possibly exist

Believed in her love, questioned everything else since I was 6...

When my Me’Me’ died

He hasn’t asked what I’ve seen...where I’ve been

He doesn’t know where I’m trying to go

I studied National Geographic magazine

Went to the Kennedy Space Center

I was perhaps an agnostic Catholic when I was 8 years old

He ignores, but doesn’t want to be ignored

He hasn’t been taught how to treat a woman proper

            I’ve been a rebel since I was 13

I made a fast exist at 16

            Control by force wasn’t fitting for me

           

He wants my lips, my hands...my hips

He doesn’t engage my mind, my heart...my soul

            I’ve been lugubrious since I was 3 years old...

            when I saw a ghost of a man standing by my crib

            I am sentient as all animals...

and clairsentient in my enlightened years...

            I feel the suffering of others...and shared energy with a whale

He doesn’t want to know anything about me

He can’t peel back any of my layers....

He can’t even get close enough to touch one.

            I am a zedonk.

            I am black and white...

            and full of grey matter

            I am a unique masterpiece under an azure sky...

            but rarely looked up to, until I die.

He can’t see...ME

because I’m inside this body....

my spirit...free

and his mind...

can only think of what his dick wants to do to...me

Attention PLEASE!

WTF. Does anyone pay attention anymore? Does everyone have ADD?

My most recent frustration is with the bitch nurses at a couple of my docs offices who are reluctant to help me with the necessary info I need to supply to my insurance company, so they will continue to pay for my much needed blood pressure med. They don't listen to me, nor do they pass on what I'm requesting to my docs. grrrr

Ok, well, beyond that. I talked to my brother today. He was just hospitalized for a heart problem. It's not that I needed him to listen to me on this occasion, because this was a time for me to listen to him. I did want to offer some suggestions, however, since I've dealt with too many doctors and have taken too many meds in my lifetime. Every single time I talk to him on the phone his wife is right next to him yapping! He carries on more of a conversation with her than with me when on the phone. If I am speaking, she is speaking in the background at the same time. There is no way he can hear both of us--especially since he is a bit hard of hearing! If it was just a one time thing it would be understandable, because this is a stressful event afterall. Such is not the case though, it's every time.

Then there is my sister. Whenever she returns a call of mine she is driving home through the dead zone, where the phone is certain to lose service. Or, she calls late when I'm already sleeping. Today when I called her to talk about my brother, and my frustration over my health care, she was on her cordless landline phone that kept beeping. Her cell doesn't work great in her house, so we inevitably try to talk with her on her beeping battery depleted landline. If she stayed in one spot on her cell, we could have reception, but no. Or, if she used the corded phone it wouldn't beep, but no.

Then there are boys. Boys are dumb. Men are dumber.

Texting is what everyone does now. It's convenient. I'm with it. I've got my QWERTY keypad. Clearly, I don't relish trying to carry on conversations with so many distractions taking place anyhow! But damn...can someone respond to a text? It doesn't have to be immediate, but the courtesy of a response would at least be nice. And as far as communication goes...a dude can tell me what color toenail polish I had on and when, and when he met me, where he's seen me, what I've said and done, and notice the hat on my head....but can't respond to a text? Can't give me the proper attention I need???? WTF

Well, about my BP med. All this stress, and that drug is working. My BP is normal (at least something about me finally is!). So, get it covered already bitches, before I do something to raise yours!

aha!