Lucky Valentine!

I'm on a roll with my Lucky 7 Gardens! 

Production got slowed a bit yesterday when my shelves in my studio room about came crashing down!  My good ol' neighbor Jerry helped me secure them today.  I'm hesitant to put much on them now though.  :p  So, I need to hit up IKEA soon to get a couple more for the other wall.  Gotta make room for all these plants!  I had boxes (storage/organizer boxes from yah IKEA) on the 2 shelves I have up, tried to move them all to the top shelf with the intent to put my plants on the lower shelf, but um nope.  Now, the storage boxes are just stacked on the floor.  blah

Yeah, I've got good neighbors and I'm soooo #grateful!!!!  My mama would be happy that I have these people in my life who care for me and look out for me.  Whenever I make a run somewhere like Lowes with Jerry, he likes to stop and get me a hamburger.  I love this--he's kinda like a dad to me, in a dysfunctional sort of way, but a good dysfunction!  Yesterday, my neighbor Sue emptied some canned goods out of her cupboards for me.  I'm used to giving the postman bags of food from my cabinets when there is a food drive, but mine are near empty & so is my fridge.  I haven't been this low on food in a long time.  I am #grateful to both of these dear neighbors of mine!  I feel so blessed to live in this community with such good people.  Then tonight, my friend Fernando's mom--Noris--brought me some groceries over from her house.  I like being on the giving end of things, and receiving often makes me feel uncomfortable, but I learned a lesson from someone who reached out to give to me during my breast cancer time of need -- she said that if I like to give, and it makes me feel good to give, then I should allow someone else to do that for me, and to have that feeling too.  What a sweetheart!  That was Kathy--the woman who took me in when I attempted to work after losing my previous job due to my health (more or less).  Life is Good.  I miss my mama.  My brother & sister have broken my heart & the ties are broken, but I've always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason.  Even the dark, blue, tragic mess that some of us have to go through, it leads us someplace, and for me...that place is here right now, and yeah....I'm #grateful.

A few shots of the newbies:

I've got so much to say

I haven't written in this blog for a long time. Think I want to start using it more. No one reads it. No one even knows it exists. But it's here, taking up a nanospot in cyberspace.

Mickey Lou is on my lap purring. I feel relatively relaxed. Enjoyed a day of eating and shopping with a friend who I had lost touch with for a while. That's one good thing that came out of the beating I took at the hands of a police officer...it led to her contacting me. :)

Yep, I got my ass beat by a po po. Bastard. I'll write more on this later.

I also now have breast cancer, and am contemplating refusing some of the suggested procedures/treatments. I've just been through too much in my life. Since the diagnosis a couple months ago there have been 2 more deaths in my life...a good friend's mother (who I felt close to) died of a brain tumor. And my sweet cousin Jeff died in a car accident (they believe he had a seizure and went off the road). Then the cop incident. Damn. I just need my life to chill out a bit. I swear I've seen more death than most people twice my age. And isn't one cancer and a couple near death experiences enough for me??? I've already done 2 marathons & 2 century rides for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I don't really feel like doing a walk for breast cancer. Damn.

I just want to travel. See and do interesting things. Meet interesting people. Help people. Help animals & nature. I want to save lives. But good god...how do I continue to keep saving my own? It's exhausting. It ain't easy bein' CG! I wish I had a loved one. Just someone to hold me every day. Do I really need all of this sorrow & solitude to be an artist? a writer? Damn.

Damn.

Damn.