This doesn't have to do with the book or the movie--though both were good!
It has to do with dreamland. Our subconscious waking up memories of people who are dead from our lives. I have dreams of my mother, who passed away a few years ago, and most of these are good because I get to be held by her--even if it's in another realm, I'll take it, it's better than never again feeling her love.
Last night, I was dreaming of my ex-hubby. He's the only one I pine over. With relationships that have followed, I have become
Comfortably Numb. Sadly, when I dream of my ex it is often
unfulfilling. I often awake feeling depressed. I miss him. In last night's dream, I believe we were on a ship. At one point I know I was in a plane, feeling like I was about to slide off before it lifted off, and I actually wanted to, but didn't want to be hit by it. I think I made it. Oddly, I think my oncologist was the pilot.
I was following my ex to every corner of the ship in my dream, or simply wandering around aimlessly. Sometimes approaching him, sometimes not. We were on the phone, and it was breaking up at times. I was having trouble hearing him, and feeling very frustrated. When I did get to see him, I said "Please, please, give us a chance!" He was so calm, seemingly unmoved by my emotions. I feared I was going to get over emotional, and then he really wouldn't want me. I said, "I was young then, you would really like me today I think. Please. Can we try? I feel confident it would be wonderful."
I couldn't get out of this dream. Just as I can't get away from these feelings in my waking life. Then the bird sound on my
cellie went off, signaling I just got a text.
"Can you come into work at 1:00? I'm sick."
"
Ok" I
text'd back.
